March 10, 2004

This happened Saturday morning.

C-Bug just came over to get a shirt (she's with Ex #1 for the week but spent the night with a friend who lives near here). She said Ash-holio's coming into town tonight and taking her to a movie....and that she's gonna get to meet "Lisa"...Y'know Lisa, the 21 year-old bisexual girlfriend. Niiiiiice. Screw the kid up even more.

He hasn't told me he's coming to town yet. If he calls and asks to see Dudie, my response will be, "No....I don't think it's appropriate for Dudie to meet your new vagina yet."

March 20, 2004

Took Dudie over to Ash-holio's mom's so Ash-holio could have his visit...first one since all this happened. I hate it. Ash-holio wasn't even there. His dad said they ran up to Arby's. When I got home, Ash-holio called to ask what size bike Dudie needs (I suggested a new bike as a birthday gift since he's outgrown the one he has). I didn't know they sold bikes at Arby's.

Ash-holio is having a "birthday party" for Dudie since he won't be in town on his birthday - and since I told him that he's not invited to the party I'm having. I know how this "party" will go...eat some cake, open a gift, and done. All parties at that house last 20 minutes.

I suspect that the girlfriend is there. Ash-holio's dad wouldn't look me in the eye - he never acts like that. I should have asked - he would have told me the truth. Ash-holio said she wouldn't be there out of "respect for my wishes." I should have asked.

Thursday night, Ash-holio called and said he's canceling his plans with Dudie, but that he would be keeping his plans with C-Bug Friday night. Then last night, he called and said, "I've changed my mind and I want to see Dudie." Jeez, make up your friggin' mind! I said that this is the LAST time I'll make changes like that - I'd already made plans since he canceled, and I'll not cancel what I've set up to suit his whims again. He said he was canceling because he'd only be in town a short time, and he didn't want to drive the girlfriend home and then come back. So he was going to choose not seeing his son over stashing the girlfriend someplace. Nice. I don't know what made him change his mind - but I do have a feeling that he decided "screw what Brenda thinks...I'm having my girlfriend here." Guess I'll find out in a few hours.

Later that day:

Well, one good thing - the girlfriend wasn't there. However, Ash-holio called 3 times while Dudie was there...one was about the bike, one was a "call me please" and the last one was Ash-holio asking me to go out there, pick Dudie up, and drive him to the movie theater so Ash-holio could take him to a movie, and then I pick up Dudie from the theater afterwards. @@ Now, Ash-holio was out at a store when he called about the bike...perfect time to pick up a carseat for Dudie, right? DUH. I ignored that phone message as well (told Ash-holio I wasn't home...hehehe). When I got to his mom's at 7, Ash-holio was all pouty and forelorn looking...wahh. He was pouting because I didn't answer the phone. Again, wahh. And get this - they had this "party" for Dudie, but Ash-holio didn't even give Dudie a birthday present. His mom gave him an outfit and a POS "remote" 18-wheeler that will break within a week. Ash-holio said he didn't get the bike because I didn't answer the phone (way to blame *me*), and that he's going to get him a "really good" remote control car at the end of April. I won't hold my breath.

The important thing is that Dudie had fun with father and C-Bug. I guess I should be grateful that he's not yet old enough to understand any of this, y'know? _____________________________________________

April 20, 2004

I haven't updated for a while - mainly because there hasn't been much to report. LOL The divorce is not yet final because Ash-holio is dragging his...ash. My attorney spoke to his attorney, who said that he has been unable to reach Ash-holio. Ash-holio said that he's been calling his attorney and not getting any return calls. Then he said that he's lost the attorney's phone number and doesn't remember his name to look up the number. Why did I marry such an idiotic turd. I informed him that since he hasn't responded formally to the proposed settlement agreement my attorney sent over a month ago (he and I discussed it over the phone and worked out an agreement, but he hasn't confirmed that with his attorney), that I was going ahead with scheduling the mediation, and if he didn't want that to happen, he'd best get off his ash and talk to his friggin' attorney.

The good thing is that Ash-holio has agreed to my proposed settlement in its entirety. ALL of it. I get sole custody of my son, visitation of my daughter, and Ash-holio pays for me to stay home until my son starts first grade. :::fistpump::: There are several other things in the agreement, but I won't list them - theones I mentioned are the highlights. If Ash-holio had called his attorney and confirmed his agreement to my proposal, the divorce would be final by now. But no, he has to avoid everything and prolong it. I think when he gets notice of the mediation date, that will set a fire under his ash and make him sign my proposal. At least I hope so.

He's paying support, but not consistently. So far, he's three weeks behind, and considering that's my sole income, three weeks is a lot. I'm managing - kinda, but I'm eager to get the divorce final - when he has a court order of support and gets behind, I have legal recourse...right now I have none. He decided to not send me the money to pay our state income tax - he said "I'll just have to pay the penalties and interest." See, he *has* the money - it's in a bank account. But he refuses to use it....he says that money is to take our daughter to Disneyworld this summer. Yeah....screw the government and take your kid to see Mickey. The government likes that. Turd. So I paid the tax out of the weekly support - took over half of it. Ouch. The retainer fee I paid my attorney is nearly used up, so I'd like to get this over with soon and not accrue more fees.

Dudie is handling all of this fine - he's oblivious to it, really, as his father's been absent most of the time since he was 18 months old. We talk about it...I tell him how when he sees his father, it will be at grandma's house and not here. It doesn't sink in, but that's okay - he's not going through stress about it.

C-Bug, on the other hand, has pretty much shut down emotionally. She's not feeling any pain, sadness, anger, upset, joy, happiness, excitement....she merely exists. Sorta. She's becoming more and more selfish and more intolerant of her brother - nasty to him 90% of the time. I understand what's going on, and I'm being patient, but it's very hard to see her go through and very hard to deal with. Her counselor has left the agency - yesterday was her last day, so that means right now, my daughter is without a counselor. Her mother is looking into finding another one.

Speaking of my daughter's mother, Ex #1, she extended the olive branch and is eager to join forces and become a "Crush Ash-holio" team. LOL She knows I have something against Ash-holio that is damaging, and she's loving it (I won't tell her what it is...no way). Ann said that my daughter will come here every other weekend (unless he's in town) no matter what Ash-holio has to say about it (in case he tries to use that visitation to control me). I'm glad about that, but I still don't trust her. And it still breaks my heart that my daughter is going to live with Ex #1.

That's it for now. Thanks for listening and for all the support. :-) _____________________________________

April 21, 2004

Just got off the phone with my attorney......Ash-holio finally contacted his attorney and told him he agrees to everything!!!! The signature page for the agreed order is in the mail and on its way to me! RAHHHHHHHHHH!

And Ash-holio's attorney is totally perplexed...Ash-holio told him he wants to pay a dollar amount higher than what's in my proposal, but he didn't explain why. LMAO (He's putting in extra because I'm making him cover my COBRA expense, and since his company won't take it directly out of his check, he has to send the payment to me directly...so we're adding it to the weekly support). So his attorney must be thinking Ash-holio's all generous and gallant....yeah right.

According to my attorney, after I sign the signature page of the agreed order, he'll submit interrogatories (kind of a confirmation of my information), the judge will sign the order, and I'll be free of that rat bastard! Wheeee!

_____________________________

May 29, 2004

The saga continues...

Haven't done an update in....well, in some time.

For a while there I thought I had really good news to share, but it's not looking that way now. The good news was that Ash-holio agreed to everything I've asked for and that the divorce would be final quickly. Hasn't turned out that way. My divorce from Ash-holio is not yet final, and Ex-wife #1 is the cause of that. Apparently her attorney looked up my petition for divorce and told Ex-wife #1 what's in it. She now wants whatever I'm getting, custody-wise and financially. She and Ash-holio had a verbal agreement (not a binding one) between them prior to her attorney finding anything out, but she has now thrown that agreement out the window. So now Ash-holio won't allow my agreement to be entered into the court until he straightens things out with Ex-wife #1. Goodness knows when that will be.

Aside from this causing a big time delay, it's causing my attorney fees to climb. I just got a letter today from my attorney with a $500 bill and a request for another retainer fee. Yeah, right. Ash-holio is 6 weeks behind in support (he's paying regularly, but in February and March, he paid barely anything). I'm setting up some eBay auctions tonight to help with that bill and fee. Buy something, will ya? LOL (KIDDING)

A case management meeting has been scheduled by the court - in August. Please pray that all of this is over by then and we won't have to go. Don't need that additional attorney fee or the emotional carp.

Last Saturday, I helped my daughter pack her room and then the next day, I drove her to bio-mom's house. She officially lives with her bio-mom now. It sucks. She said a couple of times while packing, "I really don't want to move." All I could say was, "I know, Buggy. I don't want you to either."

She's started calling me by my first name, which she hasn't done since my wedding. She doesn't do it all the time, but I have a feeling that she will soon. I know it's her way of distancing herself and protecting herself from pain, but it still hurts. No way I'm letting her know that it hurts, though...she doesn't need that on top of everything else. When my son and I got home from taking Bug to her bio-mom's, he sat on the floor and cried - "I want Bug! I miss my sistah." So far I'm told Bug will come here every other weekend, but I don't think that will happen for long.

It's getting to be too much. Too damned much. With this divorce, losing my family, and then another recent awful event, it's just too much. I hate to sound that way, so negative and whiny. But dammit this isn't fair. I'm supposed to be married to a decent man and have both of my children here. We're supposed to be happy.

I'm sorry. I wish I'm able to post a "happy as possible" ending to this whole saga. You all have been so wonderful and I was hoping to be able to say, "Yay! It's over! Let's have a massive party!" But I can't, and right now, I don't know if "happiness" will ever come around here.